I spontaneously edited most of my old triceratops posts. I got tired of them. I like the new ones. I will probably spontaneously edit them in 2-3 months. Here is a manifesto i wrote at work.
The Manifesto Manifesto
1. Fill a pants with round-stick Bics!
2. black ink
3. Your scalp is not an honest substitute for a squirrel's nest.
4. String Theory is not real until Al Gore says it is.
5. PowerPoint your desire into a less problematic fluid.
6. 75 WPM is the hallmark of any democracy worth saving.
7. scream your poem into a legal pad and wait only 3 days for rejection; this is a limited time offer
8. South Dakota is not acceptable legal tender. It is not valid in Canada, astronauts, or Super Mario Bros warp to level 5.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Sex Fantasy
three mean-faced hookers are huddled together on North Avenue
in the flat cracked parking lot of the Church's Chicken
that never stays open past eleven o clock
one of the hookers is wearing a cherry red basketball jersey
from 1986 when the Hawks were actually a good team
the other two wear tube tops and gold skirts and platform sandals
a car stops in the Church's chicken parking lot
the girl with the basketball jersey walks up to the window
she says something suggestive to the man behind the wheel
he says something suggestive back to the hooker
he makes a remark about a popular television show on cable
he wants the hooker to dress up like a nurse
then Jay B walks up to the car
he introduces himself as the pimp
he says that will cost $5000
unfamiliar in the conventions of bartering with pimps
the man behind the wheel hightails it
a long black exhaust pipe smoking in the black ass of the night
the hooker says to Jay B that she would have performed
for the man in a nurse costume for a price
far less prohibitive than $5000
Jay B is busy sucking on an unlit cigar
it is cold enough that his breath is clouding in the air
but not cold enough for him to light his only cigar
he does not listen to the hooker
he knows that in the business of turning tricks
you have to rely on yourself for all major financial decisions
Jay B grew up in Bankhead
he saw a boy get shot when he was fifteen
he saw him fall down into a pool of blood and die
he knows what it is to stare a man in the face
after learning what it is that he most wants
and charging him a fortune to get it
the car returns. the man rolls down his window
he says he has the five thousand dollars
but he has a stipulation
he is married and he wants his wife to watch
he wants the hooker to tie him down
like he was in a hospital in a coma
and he wants his wife and the hooker to spit in his face
and tell him about the pleasure
he is unable to give them
he wants to lie there tied up all night long
while his wife drives the hooker back to Church's Chicken
and gives Jay B a blow job
like a sentinel or a telephone pole Jay B watches the street traffic
the hooker begins the arduous process of making up her face
the man in the car begins to sweat a little behind his neck
the other two girls have begun to glow
because the headlights of the car have illuminated their skirts
they giggle and two more cars pull up and they scatter and dance
in the flat cracked parking lot of the Church's Chicken
that never stays open past eleven o clock
one of the hookers is wearing a cherry red basketball jersey
from 1986 when the Hawks were actually a good team
the other two wear tube tops and gold skirts and platform sandals
a car stops in the Church's chicken parking lot
the girl with the basketball jersey walks up to the window
she says something suggestive to the man behind the wheel
he says something suggestive back to the hooker
he makes a remark about a popular television show on cable
he wants the hooker to dress up like a nurse
then Jay B walks up to the car
he introduces himself as the pimp
he says that will cost $5000
unfamiliar in the conventions of bartering with pimps
the man behind the wheel hightails it
a long black exhaust pipe smoking in the black ass of the night
the hooker says to Jay B that she would have performed
for the man in a nurse costume for a price
far less prohibitive than $5000
Jay B is busy sucking on an unlit cigar
it is cold enough that his breath is clouding in the air
but not cold enough for him to light his only cigar
he does not listen to the hooker
he knows that in the business of turning tricks
you have to rely on yourself for all major financial decisions
Jay B grew up in Bankhead
he saw a boy get shot when he was fifteen
he saw him fall down into a pool of blood and die
he knows what it is to stare a man in the face
after learning what it is that he most wants
and charging him a fortune to get it
the car returns. the man rolls down his window
he says he has the five thousand dollars
but he has a stipulation
he is married and he wants his wife to watch
he wants the hooker to tie him down
like he was in a hospital in a coma
and he wants his wife and the hooker to spit in his face
and tell him about the pleasure
he is unable to give them
he wants to lie there tied up all night long
while his wife drives the hooker back to Church's Chicken
and gives Jay B a blow job
like a sentinel or a telephone pole Jay B watches the street traffic
the hooker begins the arduous process of making up her face
the man in the car begins to sweat a little behind his neck
the other two girls have begun to glow
because the headlights of the car have illuminated their skirts
they giggle and two more cars pull up and they scatter and dance
Sunday, April 8, 2007
TV on DVD
i think we should have a roundtable discussion on TV on DVD. i will start things off by asking a few questions.
Daniel: How many times have you tried finding Tsunami/Hurricane Katrina footage on one comprehensive, ultimate, collector's edition DVD? How much would you be willing to pay for such a thing, even if it did not include detailed commentary by David Lynch?
Ryan: How has post-structural Marxism hindered TV on DVD's effect on Christianity? Does it have anything to do with the 2% decline in overseas evangelical missionaries? Shakespeare had Marlowe, NASA had whatever Russia's space program was, Lassie had Leave It To Beaver, Jimmy Carter had that Dunkin' Donuts guy, and I guess what I'm trying to ask is, will careless marketing imbue 21st century capitalism with a sense of apocalyptic doom underscored by an insidious jovial mask of edibility?
Ashley: I heard on NPR the other day a news story about a 17 year old boy in Nebraska who watched the entire second season of 24 in one sitting and had to be hospitalized for 3 days. His 14 year old cousin was found the next week, disoriented, in the DVD section of Wal-Mart, with apparent memory loss. Whose responsibility is it to protect our children from this gross sin of distraction? When will HBO start offering cheaper box sets?
Ian: I have written 378 poems this month about some form of television. Am I too far behind? Please tell me you're not already up to 500. When do you plan on shooting footage for the pilot episode of your as-yet-untitled drama, which critics so far are describing as "ER for the poetry world" simply based on the first 10 pages of your script? Is it true you wrote it in a fit of mania, after an uneventful Six Flags trip when you were 15?
Daniel: How many times have you tried finding Tsunami/Hurricane Katrina footage on one comprehensive, ultimate, collector's edition DVD? How much would you be willing to pay for such a thing, even if it did not include detailed commentary by David Lynch?
Ryan: How has post-structural Marxism hindered TV on DVD's effect on Christianity? Does it have anything to do with the 2% decline in overseas evangelical missionaries? Shakespeare had Marlowe, NASA had whatever Russia's space program was, Lassie had Leave It To Beaver, Jimmy Carter had that Dunkin' Donuts guy, and I guess what I'm trying to ask is, will careless marketing imbue 21st century capitalism with a sense of apocalyptic doom underscored by an insidious jovial mask of edibility?
Ashley: I heard on NPR the other day a news story about a 17 year old boy in Nebraska who watched the entire second season of 24 in one sitting and had to be hospitalized for 3 days. His 14 year old cousin was found the next week, disoriented, in the DVD section of Wal-Mart, with apparent memory loss. Whose responsibility is it to protect our children from this gross sin of distraction? When will HBO start offering cheaper box sets?
Ian: I have written 378 poems this month about some form of television. Am I too far behind? Please tell me you're not already up to 500. When do you plan on shooting footage for the pilot episode of your as-yet-untitled drama, which critics so far are describing as "ER for the poetry world" simply based on the first 10 pages of your script? Is it true you wrote it in a fit of mania, after an uneventful Six Flags trip when you were 15?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)