this is a poem about puff daddy written by puff daddy that is attempting to approximate puff daddys level of greatness. it is real.

i am puff daddy. i bought five Bentleys the other day. i rode in four of them at the same time with my diamond plated jet pack.

you didn't know diamond plate existed did you?

i roll with NASA son.

the other Bentley i gave to some poor people that had bad legs and shit. they decided to sleep in it.

tore the leather seats. ungrateful, that's what i call that.

i took that shit back and i rolled it off a cliff.

fonsworth videotaped it.

then i dropped 500 DVDs of me rolling it off a cliff onto the streets of new york.

each one had a tiny silk sean john parachute.

this bored me.

so i bought a triceratops straight cash.

i do these things.

i rode that bitch to the set of making the band 17 and stomped out those hopeful bitches.

can't stop. won't stop.

this is how i get down son.

i had some working class hoes install wings on my new ride.

cause you know i gotta be fly.

i flew up to heaven and stole the golden gates.

i put that shit in front of my mansion to keep j-lo out.

if you see me flying don't even ask for an autograph.

i will have my new ride pierce your heart with its front bumper.

believe that.