i think we should have a roundtable discussion on TV on DVD. i will start things off by asking a few questions.
Daniel: How many times have you tried finding Tsunami/Hurricane Katrina footage on one comprehensive, ultimate, collector's edition DVD? How much would you be willing to pay for such a thing, even if it did not include detailed commentary by David Lynch?
Ryan: How has post-structural Marxism hindered TV on DVD's effect on Christianity? Does it have anything to do with the 2% decline in overseas evangelical missionaries? Shakespeare had Marlowe, NASA had whatever Russia's space program was, Lassie had Leave It To Beaver, Jimmy Carter had that Dunkin' Donuts guy, and I guess what I'm trying to ask is, will careless marketing imbue 21st century capitalism with a sense of apocalyptic doom underscored by an insidious jovial mask of edibility?
Ashley: I heard on NPR the other day a news story about a 17 year old boy in Nebraska who watched the entire second season of 24 in one sitting and had to be hospitalized for 3 days. His 14 year old cousin was found the next week, disoriented, in the DVD section of Wal-Mart, with apparent memory loss. Whose responsibility is it to protect our children from this gross sin of distraction? When will HBO start offering cheaper box sets?
Ian: I have written 378 poems this month about some form of television. Am I too far behind? Please tell me you're not already up to 500. When do you plan on shooting footage for the pilot episode of your as-yet-untitled drama, which critics so far are describing as "ER for the poetry world" simply based on the first 10 pages of your script? Is it true you wrote it in a fit of mania, after an uneventful Six Flags trip when you were 15?
4 comments:
my question is harder than god's penis.
i am drunk.
ish.
i will answer this in detail tomorrow.
or late tonight.
I guess I am fucked in this response. This is the case for the following reasons:
1. I am slightly inebriated.
2. Some of the terminology makes me go poopy.
3. I just finished watched a Czech “comedy” that was more racist than a revival in south Georgia
4. “TV on DVD”? I dislike both mediums and am as much an expert in them as Don King is in subtlety.
Cosmonauts would destroy Astronauts in any competition. Did you see the technology in Rocky IV. Fuck.
I had a Lassie dog. It had seizures and a serious stroke and vomited all over the kitchen floor. I laid myself down next to him and cried and was destroyed.
Apocalyptic doom? Did you hear Bone Thugs N Harmony’s E 1999 album. That was apocalyptic doom my friend. Careless marketing? Is there any other kind? Hot pockets aren’t good for you. Sing the jingle. TV on DVD? Is this advertised primarily by comedy central? I mean they picked up scrubs so it must be the case. What is there to advertise? I like Chappelle’s show but I get tired. I mean I feel like fuck if I watch another skit about keeping it real I am going to keep it real and hang myself. And then JD on scrubs is begging to be sent to prison and assfucked. I can imagine his daydream waste of space visions now. I am failing to answer this question. Edibility? Fuck me if I have t be able to swallow the shit Hollywood squeezes out of its oft-bleached anus. I have only seen one case of “apocalyptic doom underscored by an insidious jovial mask of edibility” and it is this:
Ronald Mcdonald.
That’s it. That fucking clown is cleaning rooms and sitting on benches and telling children how tall they must be to play in ball pits. Fuck. His suit screams wheres waldo meets it and his friends holy fuck don’t get me started on his friends.
Ms word auto correct on assfucked is:
1. shucked
2. sapsucker
Someone please note how funny both of those alternatives are.
My question:
I have nothing as of yet. I am fucking this roundtable. Someone else respond I am “cashed out” as the kids might say.
my script is going to be about disappointment.
it is going to star John Ashbery and Quentin Tarantino.
they are going to speak in Italian accents and go to nightclubs.
each morning they will wake up alone.
if I were to write 500 poems then the poems would be about feelings.
I would give each poem a name that also serves as a descriptive moniker of each feeling.
like "I forgot to clear the lint trap on the dryer and now my clothes are on fire"
drinks yes.
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